Loving a friend wishing I could spend my life with them by my side and live out the rest of my days with em. I find myself hitting a wall after getting so close to people either that be it in friendships, relationships or even professional settings. With them I haven’t and it scares me. It scares me greatly that I won’t find someone like that again and frankly I don’t know why this can’t be a thing. Maybe because I am too much of a bitch and can’t speak up the words that need to be said. Maybe because I am scared deeply at what the response could be. Maybe I don’t deserve it and she deserves better. I don’t know but I do know that life would feel like a dream with her by my side. I don’t know if the regret of not ever trying outweighs the possibility of making things weird between us.